


My Weakness is I Care Too Much

by DalishGreyWarden



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, F/M, Major AU, Romance, Slightly more modern AU, a little plot what plot, brief mention of Zevran/Akasha past relationship, some smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 01:28:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3591219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DalishGreyWarden/pseuds/DalishGreyWarden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akasha Lavellan: warrior elf with an attitude problem the size of a mountain. She's a fighter and always has something to say. She's a tiny ball of mouthy sarcasm and terrible puns and wanting nothing more than to either get drunk, fight everyone, or relax with a pipe and do nothing. And then Gandalf the Grey, an old friend, approaches her with an offer: joining Thorin Oakenshield and company on an adventure to reclaim their home. Erebor. Akasha agrees and has no idea what she's getting herself into, especially when she finds herself attracted to Thorin's nephew, Kili.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Blood filled my mouth as a fist slammed right into my jaw, sending stars shooting across my vision and making me stumbled back from the Orc I was fighting. I spat blood in its face, my eyes narrowed angrily and I swung my shield, the edge catching it in the neck and removed its head from its body. I rolled my shoulders and jumped up and down a few times on the balls of my feet, eager for another fight.

 

“What, no one else wants to fight me now? Too scared?” I taunted the Orcs that were watching me warily, none of them eager to attack me.

 

“Boo.” I smirked and they fled, squealing and I burst out laughing, blood still trickling down the corner of my mouth and I wiped it away with the back of my hand and made a face. They busted my cheek open from the inside, which was no big deal as long as my teeth were alright. I scooped up my fallen blade, cleaned it off and returned it to its sheath before beginning the long walk back to my camp. I’d been out hunting when Orcs jumped me and chased me quite the ways away from my camp, thankfully though since I loved the hot springs and didn’t need those brutes finding the secret paths to get to them.

 

 _I could use a soak after this. I got thrown around before I got my footing and really dug in._ I made a face at how sloppy my fighting was today; normally I was much more on point and ready to go during a fight, but today I was feeling more sluggish than usual. I sighed softly, putting my arms behind my head and walked slower, taking my time just in case the Orcs decided to follow after and take me off guard again, and I winced as my stomach rumbled. Looked like I was gonna have to hurry up and get back to camp so I could eat. I broke out into a jog and my long legs ate up the ground under me as I ran at a steady pace, getting back in quicker time than I’d anticipated.

 

 

“What the-? Gandalf? What are _you_ doing here?” My jaw dropped when I saw the old wizard waiting for me at my camp, smoking a pipe and blowing smoke rings.

 

 

“Ah, I was wondering where you’d gone, Akasha. I wished to know if you’d care to join in an adventure.”

 

“What sort of adventure are we talking about Gandalf? I just got free of that pit fighting thing not too long ago, I’m not really up for a long, drawn out quest or whatever else you may have planned.” I groaned, throwing myself down onto my bedroll and digging hungrily into the bread I had with me, adding some meat and cheese to make it more filling.

 

“You would be accompanying a company of dwarves and one hobbit to Erebor to reclaim it.”

 

I looked at Gandalf and burst out laughing but stopped immediately when I saw the look on his face.

 

“Oh. You’re serious, then? Shit, I don’t know Gandalf; I’m not much for adventuring. I like this place a lot, it’s quiet, the hot springs are right over there and I’m comfortable for once. I’m the last of my clan, besides Valora, but she’s in Thedas right now since she’s their Inquisitor or whatever it is they call her. I just want to do my own thing.”

 

“You will get paid for helping them.”

 

I titled my head a moment and debated the situation; on one hand, if I went and we actually made it there, there was a chance I could get killed by a dragon, but on the other hand if I went and we succeed _and_ killed the dragon, I’d be rich. Dead and poor? Alive and rich? Alive and poor? I knew what option looked the best, I wasn’t stupid, but I had a feeling I’d regret this later.

 

“Alright Gandalf, I’m in.”


	2. Double Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The language is a bit more modern in this since it is a slightly more modern AU, however aside from language, songs and instruments, there's not a whole lot else that's from a modern time.

“Here, wait, hold on Gandalf, and let me get my map. I need to see where this Shire place is.” I got up and dug around through my pack and pulled out my map, laying it out on makeshift table I had set up for making weapons.

 

“Whoa, it’s that far away from here? I need to start going then otherwise I’ll miss out.” I yelped when he pointed out where The Shire was on the map.

 

“Now hold on a moment, don’t you want to look at your contract?”

 

“There’s a contract? Oh. Well, I suppose I should take a look then.” I paused in packing and got back up to look at this contract.

 

“So I’m what, a bodyguard? Well, I guess it’s better than a pit fighter and it’ll probably pay better, too. Shit. Alright, do you have a pen?” I sighed, snagging the pen from Gandalf and dipped it into a pot of gold ink I had.

 

“What a waste of _vallas’lin_ ink.” I muttered under my breath after signing the line at the bottom of the very long contract. I was different than most Dalish with tattoos: see, I had them all over my body, done in gold ink, and I added to them whenever I could, so using the ink? It was a huge waste but it was all I had available at the moment. I handed Gandalf the pen and folded up my contract, handing that over to him as well and got back to packing up.

 

“I’ll be heading that way soon. I’m going to take a dip in the hot springs and then be on my way.”

 

“Of course, of course, just hurry Akasha. I assume you have a mount?”

 

“Yes, I do. She’s wandering about here somewhere.” I waved my hand in the general area. A loud trumpeting screech rang out and my mount, Stripe, came trotting up, shaking her head and snorting. I grinned at the large hart, patting her neck and handed her a sugar cube. Gandalf raised an eyebrow and looked between the large deer and myself.

 

“Yes, yes, I know, I’m a tiny elf with a giant deer as my mount. Trust me, I know how this looks. But standing at only five feet, two inches tall, I need something to kind of give me a height advantage.” I threw my arms up into the air and Gandalf chuckled.

 

“I will see you in The Shire, Akasha.”

 

“See you there, Gandalf.”

 

~*~*~

 

 _This must be the place. There’s the mark Gandalf informed of._ I knocked on the door, a bewildered Hobbit answering the door, surprised to see a woman standing at his door.

 

“Hello Mr. Baggins! Akasha Lavellan, at your service,” I bowed and smiled at him. “Could I come in please?”

 

“Ah… yes – yes, of course, come in.” He stammered, stepping aside and allowing me in. It looked like, besides two dwarves, I was one of the first to arrive which was odd since it took me longer to get here than I thought it would.

 

“Thank you, Mr. Baggins.” I nodded and hung up my cloak and rest my sword and shield under the coat rack and went to greet the two dwarves that were here.

 

“You must be the elf Gandalf mentioned. Balin, at your service.” The older of the two dwarves said kindly and bowed his head.

 

“Akasha Lavellan, at yours.” I replied cheerfully.

 

“You’re awfully short for an elf.” The other dwarf said and I made a face at him.

 

“Yes, I know. I hear that more often than I’d like to.” I grumbled in annoyance.

 

“Sorry lass. Dwalin, at your service.” He chuckled and shook my hand firmly.

 

“Pleasure to meet the both of you. I, ah, thought Gandalf would have arrived by now. He has my contract and it’s all signed and ready to go.” I informed Balin and he nodded, waving it off carelessly.

 

“Not to worry, he will arrive in good time.” He and Dwalin went to raid Bilbo’s pantry and I just shook my head in astonishment.

 

“Excuse me, Mr. Baggins? Is there somewhere I could put this?” I asked, remembering the large baskets I had with me that were packed full of food.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Food, sir. I was told to bring a lot just in case.” I explained with a smile.

 

“Here, ah, just set it up here I guess.” Bilbo said and helped me unload the first two baskets of all the various foods I knew how to make. Dwalin and Balin came over to see what was going on and Dwalin whistled in appreciation.

 

“Where did all of this come from?”

 

“I made it. See, it’s all sorts of foods and desserts from all over Thedas, where I’m originally from, so you’ll get a taste of what food is like back home.” I explained and pointed out what foods were from Orlais, Antiva, Rivain, Ferelden, the Free Marches, etc. and they filled their plates up happily.

 

 

“I would get yourself a plate if I were you, Mister Baggins, before they eat it all.” I murmured to the Hobbit, tipping him a wink and fixed myself a plate as well and poured myself a cup of Tevinter wine to enjoy with my food. The doorbell rang again and Bilbo went to answer the door, making a sound like a moan and I felt immensely sorry for the poor guy. When he opened the door, I straightened up, my eyes going wide at the sight of two young dwarves.

 

 _Creators help me, I had no idea there would be young dwarves here. Oh, they’re cute._ I thought, watching the exchange.

 

“Fili.” The blonde said with a smirk on face.

 

“And Kili.” The brunette added cheerfully and they nodded at him before speaking at the same time.

 

“At your service.”

 

Bilbo just stared at the two, unsure of _what_ he should say or do.

 

“You must be Mr. Boggins.” Kili smiled cheerily and Bilbo began to shake his head no.

 

“Nope, you can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house.” He said, trying to close the door, but Kili put his foot in the way, peering in with a concerned look on his face.

 

“What? Has it been cancelled?” He asked with a frown.

 

“No one told us.” Fili said as he and Kili looked at one another, puzzled.

 

“Can--? No – nothing’s been cancelled.”

 

“Well, that’s a relief!”

 

They pushed their way into the house and I almost laughed at how Fili came strutting into the house like he owned the place and they unloaded their things, shoving them at Bilbo. Kili stopped when he saw me leaning on a doorframe, sipping on my wine and he smiled and sauntered over.

 

“Hello, I’m Kili.”

 

I smiled sweetly at him and tipped my head his direction.

 

“Akasha Lavellan. It’s a pleasure to meet you Kili.” I looked him up and down before smiling again and waltzing away to wash my plate off and refill my cup.

 

“Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand.” I heard Dwalin say to the two brothers and Bilbo came walking into the kitchen, shaking his head and muttering under his breath.

 

“Is there anything I can do to help? I… know we’re here unexpectedly it seems, so if there’s something I can do to make this a bit easier, I’ll gladly help.” I offered kindly to Bilbo. He stopped and looked at me, smiling a little.

 

“Thank you. I’m grateful for that. Just, could you make sure nothing gets broken?”

 

“Gladly.” I beamed and went to supervise the four dwarves who were currently moving things around and getting things prepared for a lot of people to be here.

 

“I don’t believe we’ve met yet. Fili, at your service.” Fili smiled charmingly and I returned it with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Akasha Lavellan at yours.”

 

“You’re an elf, aren’t you?”

 

“Yes. Don’t say-“

 

“You’re pretty short to be an elf.”

 

“And there it is. Again. Trust me, I know I’m short for an elf. I was born a couple months early and I got screwed out of being tall. So here I am in my short, elfy glory.” I sighed and Fili laughed at how I explained things.

 

_He’s just as attractive as his brother. Dread Wolf help me, I am in trouble._


	3. Chapter 3

Twelve dwarves were walking through Bilbo’s house, getting the food out of Bilbo’s pantry and eating everything I made as well and it didn’t seem like they would slow down anytime soon. I was happily buzzed off my wine and enjoyed some of the little frilly cakes from Orlais, the sugary dessert going nicely with my wine and I grabbed another bottle, thought about it for a moment and tipped my head back, drinking directly from the bottle.

 

“Must be good wine if you’re drinking it right from the bottle.” Kili smirked as he took a seat next to me.

 

“I am not overly fond of the Tevinter Imperium, but they do make some lovely wine.” I shrugged and made a mental note to write to Valora to tell her to thank her Tevinter friend Dorian for the wine.

 

“Care for a sip?” I continued and handed him the bottle, grinning when he took a large gulp and nearly choked.

 

“That is really thick and sweet, what kind of wine _is that_?”

 

“A vintage port I believe. My sister Valora sent me a basket of Tevinter wines. They were a gift from her Tevinter friend, Dorian Pavus. She’s not fond of wine, but she knows I like it, so she sent it to me. It’s more of a dessert wine, hence the cakes in front of me.” I chuckled and Kili took a bite out of one of the sweet breads I had sitting on my plate and he looked relieved to have something counter the flavor of the wine.

 

“I suppose port isn’t for everyone.” I giggled and took the bottle back, downing more of the sweet wine. Ale was passed around, which Kili took gratefully, and things went silent as they drank. The one thing about dwarves that was going to be a problem was they were messy and disgusting. And rude. Once they’d finished their ale, they all began belching and I pursed my lips, making a slight face and rose to my feet to put my plate away.

 

“Gandalf, I’m stepping outside for a little air.” I informed the wizard, who was counting to see who all was here and he nodded as I went to the door and stepped outside into the cool night air. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs to capacity before letting out my breath. I wasn’t used to being in an actual house full to capacity with people; it was suffocating honestly, and not even being drunk was helping me cope with it.

 

“Are you alright? You rushed out of there pretty quickly.” Fili had come outside to check on me and I nodded, leaning back on the bench that was outside, my legs resting stretched out in front of me.

 

“Yes, I just don’t do well with a group of people crammed in a small space. I just needed a little air, it felt like I was suffocating. I was hoping getting drunk would, you know, help me deal with it because usually it does but not this time. Ah well, the fresh air is helping at least.”

 

He sat down next to me and looked up at the starry night sky with me, both of us quiet and I closed my eyes as a crisp breeze blew across my face, cooling my flushed skin down.

 

“We should probably go back in and see what’s going on.” I finally said and hopped up, taking another breath and walked back into the house.

 

“I don’t want to get used to them. The state of my kitchen! There’s mud trod into the carpet, they’ve pi-pillaged the pantry. I’m not even going to tell you what they’ve done in the bathroom; they’ve all but destroyed the plumbing. I don’t understand what they’re doing in my house!” Bilbo snapped at Gandalf and I raised an eyebrow in interest; it seems no one had even spoken to the hobbit about us coming here and about the adventure we were going on. How interesting.


	4. Thorin

The dwarves had made a good show of throwing Bilbo’s dishes about, singing a little tune to go with it, and made a fool of Bilbo and I when we saw they’d been stacked nice and neat despite the song of breaking the plates and whatnot. It was impressive really, though that may just have been my intoxicated state thinking it was truly amazing. And then three loud knocks on the door, causing everyone to go silent.

 

“He is here.” Gandalf’s voice was somber and they went to open the door, revealing Thorin Oakenshield.

 

 _Shit! I didn’t know I would be working for_ him _of all people! Oh man, he really hates elves._ I thought, nearly panicking and quickly ripped my hair out of its ponytail, letting it fall loose around my face and nearly yelped when I managed to get it caught on my belt.

 

 _I’m cutting my hair. Next chance I get, it’s happening. I love my long hair, but this is a little much._ I made a face as I pulled it out of the leather and waited to see what happened if Thorin noticed me.

 

“Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. Wouldn’t have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door.” He said, looking over everyone gathered, his eyes widening when he saw me standing amongst the others.

 

“Mark? There’s no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago!” Bilbo protested loudly.

 

“There is a mark; I put it there myself. Bilbo Baggins, Akasha Lavellan, allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield.” Gandalf smiled warmly and I made my way to the front so I could greet him.

 

“So this is the hobbit. And an elven woman? Why are you here, elf?”

 

“I was offered job and I took it.”

 

Thorin was not amused with my answer, his scowl growing deeper as he stared me down, and then he noticed the gold on my skin.

 

“Wait a moment… You are the Akasha I’d heard about that fought down in the Pit, are you not?”

 

“That’s me alright. I guess my gold tattoos gave it away.”

 

“And your height.”

 

“Oh bite me. Seriously, the next person to make a comment on how short I am for an elf will get stabbed.” I groused, irritated as well especially at Thorin’s smirk of amusement that he gave me before turning back to Bilbo.

 

“Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?”

 

“Pardon me?”

 

“Axe or sword? What’s your weapon of choice?”

 

“Well, I have some skill at Conkers, if you must know, but I fail to see why that’s relevant.” Bilbo said, his joke dying fairly quick under the withering stare of Thorin.

 

“Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar.” Thorin said and the other dwarves laughed while Bilbo stood next to Gandalf looking embarrassed.

 

 

“And what of you maiden? Do you fight with anything besides your fists?”

 

“Oh goody, is it my turn to be humiliated? Yes, I do fight with something other than my fists. I use this,” I scooped up my tall shield and showed it to them my then drew my sword from its sheath and they were all impressed with the blade. My blade and shield were both made from pure silverite and I had painted two halla on my shield to show I was Dalish and proud.

 

“And I guess you’ve seen plenty of battles, then.”

 

“Obviously.” I drawled with contempt. Thorin studied me a moment then nodded and they went into the dining room to speak.

 

“I’ll be heading out to then inn, then if I’m not needed anymore tonight. I am… exhausted and could use a decent night’s sleep.” I informed Gandalf and grabbed my things, fastening my cloak around myself and drew the hood up to keep my ears hidden from prying eyes. Gandalf nodded and I said goodbye to Bilbo before going outside to start the walk to the inn.


	5. The Journey Begins

Once I was settled into my room, I stripped my top and breeches off, tossing them onto my pack and slipped into a camisole and a pair of sleep shorts and crawled into bed, sighing happily at how soft the mattress was and how comfortable the pillows were. Tonight’s events played through my head when I closed my eyes and I couldn’t quit thinking of Fili and Kili; I wasn’t used to men flirting with me thanks to being too short for most men and now here I was being flirted with by _two_ men. Two! I was surprised but pleasantly so, though when it came down to it, I had to admit I was really attracted to Kili. Fili seemed sweet, but… well, I couldn’t figure it out really what it was about Kili that drew my attention.

 

 

“Ugh…” I groaned out loud, turning onto my back and draping an arm over my eyes, trying to go to sleep, but having no luck. I got up and dressed quickly and went out to the stables to visit with Stripe, stroking her soft fur and resting my head on her shoulder.

 

“Akasha?”

 

I jumped two feet in the air and whirled around to see Kili approaching the stables cautiously and I waved a little.

 

“Kili, what are you doing here? How did you even know I was here, actually?” I asked him as he walked up next to me.

 

“I asked Gandalf. You didn’t say anything before you left, so I wanted to come say good night. You aren’t leaving are you?”

 

“No, I’m not leaving; I just wanted to visit with Stripe for a bit. I couldn’t sleep, so usually when I can’t sleep, I go for a ride. Would you want to come with me?” I asked him and after a second of thinking about it, he nodded.

 

“Wow… She is really big, Akasha. How do you stay seated on her?” Kili asked after we got settled onto Stripe’s broad back and he held onto my waist, a little nervously.

 

“Balance, Kili, lots of it and hours of practice, too.” I replied cheerfully and gently nudged her forward. She cantered towards the woods and burst into a run, the wind blowing around us, making my eyes water as she ran. Kili was laughing and I started laughing too, enjoying this simple freedom. I don’t know how long we were gone, but I was finally tired enough to go to sleep when we got back.

 

“I’ll see you in the morning Kili. Thanks for joining me in a ride with Stripe, it was a lot of fun.” I yawned and waved goodbye to the dwarf and snuck back into the inn and up to my room, collapsing on my bed, asleep before my head even hit the pillow.

 

~*~*~

 

The next morning, I woke up feeling well rested and eager to get on the road. I hurried to dress and yanked a brush through my hair, wincing at the small snags and tangles my brush caught before I tied it back with a black leather ribbon and strapped my shield to my back, buckled my sword to my hip and made sure my dagger was tucked safely away in my boot before grabbing my pack and heading out to Stripe, loading her down carefully and gracefully jumped onto her back and clucked at her, nudging her out of the stables and off to meet with Gandalf and the others. I spotted them a few minutes later and trotted forward to catch up with them.

 

“Morning everyone.” I waved and they all gaped at the size of my mount.

 

“I told you she was huge.” Kili smirked at Fili and I laughed as I pulled Stripe to a halt.

 

“I’m tiny! I need a height advantage!” I protested jokingly, bringing Stripe in next to Kili’s pony so I could ride next to him. Everyone laughed at my joke, even Thorin, and I felt pretty good about how things were going so far.

 

~*~*~

 

Night had fallen and we were camped at the edge of a cliff, most of the company sleeping and I was curled up next to Kili, half asleep and I rested my head on his shoulder, yawning and closed my eyes, settling in to sleep. Kili was comfortable and warm; better than any blanket I could have used since his warmth radiated off of him in waves and I was quite content to stay here all night if he’d let me.

 

 _I could get used to this._ I thought drowsily, reaching up and rubbing my eyes tiredly and shifted to lie down, resting the side of my face on his knee, ignoring the fact his breeches were rough and a little uncomfortable. I felt him run his fingers through my hair and I sighed softly, loving the way he’d lightly massage my scalp with his fingertips and softly rub my ears with his pointer and middle fingers.

 

 _Oh yes, I definitely could get used to this._ I was almost asleep entirely when they mentioned Orcs were about, though I was much too tired to react and chose to make a disgusted noise when they said the word Orcs again. Kili chuckled and tousled my hair a little as he and Fili explained what Bilbo was hearing. I yawned and nuzzled my face against his knee, refusing to get up but Balin had begun to tell tale of the pale orc, Azog, who had killed off the other Dalish clans here, and apparently killed Thorin’s grandfather and I did want to listen, so I forced myself to sit up and listen to the tale.

 

“Azog the Defiler learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken. Our forces rallied and drove the orcs back. Our enemy had been defeated. But there was no feast, no song that night for our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few had survived. And I thought to myself then, there is one who I could follow. There is one who I could call King.”

 

Everyone was awake now, standing and looking at Thorin in awe. This must have happened a while after he slayed the Dalish and I wondered if they took care of him.

 

 

“But the pale orc? What of him?” Bilbo asked and Thorin looked over us all before answering.

 

“He slunk back into the hole from whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago.”

 

I walked over to where Thorin had been standing to take watch, unable to sleep now after hearing Orc squeals. It was the Orcs that kept me in the Pit and used me as entertainment. Day in and day out of fighting with my bare hands, killing other elves, dwarves, men and even other Orcs just to keep myself alive all at the orders of another pale orc, Bolg, a relation of Azog if I remembered correctly.

 

“Balin, do you know any tales of an orc named Bolg?” I asked, not turning around to face the others for fear they’d see the anger that was on my face.

 

“Bolg… Hmm… I know of only a few lass and they’re mostly rumors at best.”

 

“Tell them to me? Please?”

 

“They say he’s the one who started the Pits and would capture any able bodied fighters to entertain… Oh… Lass, is that - ?”

 

“Yes.” I was quiet for a moment after answering, gathering my ability to speak. “Do you think he’s still alive?”

 

“I wish I knew my dear. I wish I knew.”


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, it was pouring down rain and I loved it. My hood was down and I was soaked to the bone, but I didn’t care. I was at my happiest when the weather was dreary and rainy but it didn’t look like anyone else shared my feelings on the weather. They all looked cold and miserable as rain pelted them.

 

“Here, Mr. Gandalf, can’t you do something about this deluge?” Dori asked grumpily and Gandalf laughed a little bit, shaking his head.

 

“It is raining, Master Dwarf, and it will continue to rain until the rain is done. If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard.” Gandalf informed Dori. I tuned out their conversation, humming a little bit as Stripe got antsy and was prancing, eager to start cantering and really get going, but we were picking our way downhill and I hated it when she’d run downhill; I nearly almost always fell off of her when she’d do it.

 

“Do you sing, Akasha?”

 

I stopped humming, my eyes wide as saucers as I looked down at Bofur who had apparently heard my humming.

 

“Um… Yes…? A little bit…? Why…?” I asked him hesitantly.

 

“Sing something! Might cheer everyone up a bit.” Bofur grinned happily and I winced a little bit at being put on the spot. I was a good singer, I really was, but I got nervous singing in front of people and I would choke up and forget the words of whatever song I was singing.

 

“Oh, no, no, no, I-I really don’t think-“

 

Everyone began to clamor for a song and I sighed heavily and finally agreed.

 

“Alright, alright, just let me think of a song.” I grumbled, my mind instantly going blank on every song I knew.

 

“ _I’m counting on hearts like yours to keep me burning, to keep me up ‘til two in the morning. You be bright when I’m starting to rust, you be why behind the what. I’m counting on hearts like yours to help remind me keep ignoring the white noise behind me. Don’t ever let them water me down, I’m counting, I’m counting on you now. Oh I remember that feeling, I must be dreaming. Am I just wasting our time? Feel like I’m feeding you lines. Nothing left to say, losing fire and growing tired, uninspired. But I will never let go, never let up my hold ‘cause I know once you feel it, you can’t unfeel it. Once you dream it, you can’t undream it._ ” My voice wavered at first but it grew more confident with each word until I was belting out the lyrics, really getting into it and grooving along. When I finished the song, everyone did seem to be in brighter spirits and the rain was even starting to let up some. Finally, the rain stopped all together and the sun came out, drying us off as we rode, the smell of wet pony and hart filling the air and I made a face at the stench.

 

“Well, I don’t know about anyone else, but my arse is sore from all the riding.” I muttered, shifting uncomfortably on Stripes’ bare back. I wasn’t used to doing this much riding, especially bareback, and I had to admit, I was getting pretty sore since bareback riding took more muscle control to do.

 

“You’re not alone there.” Fili replied, a cheeky grin on his face as he turned to look up at me.

 

“We’ll camp here for the night. Fili, Kili, Akasha, look after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them.” Thorin had brought the company to a halt at an old, abandoned farmhouse that was in ruins and began to give out instructions to everyone. Fili, Kili and I got to work getting the ponies settled and I took off their saddles and bits, brushing them down and combing out their manes and tails, pulling the brambles and thorns out of the soft hair before using a hoof pick and cleaning out their hooves and checking their shoes out to make sure they were alright. I took my time with each pony, talking to them softly in elvhen and braided their manes and tails to keep them neat and less likely to get tangled and gross.

 

“You’re really good with them.” Kili said, watching me fix up Minty and I rose to my feet and brushed my hands off along with the seat of my breeches.

 

“I’ve always been good with animals. Probably why I was my clan’s Halla keeper; I just had a natural talent for keeping them calm.” I shrugged and passed out treats to each pony, making sure they all got an apple, carrot or sugar cube.

 

“Is that what Stripe is?”

 

“No, not technically. She’s a Red Hart Halla, though why they tack on halla at the end of the breed, I don’t know because she’s just a hart. Halla are smaller and their coats are pure white. They have horns that stand straight up, and they’re twisted and white as well.” I sighed, a little sad now that I was thinking about the halla we lost when our clan was attacked by humans. It was part of the reason I’d left Thedas; I was the only who managed to escape and I wanted out, so I traveled here to Middle Earth for a change of scenery. Never thought I’d end up here.” I got quiet when Kili reached out and squeezed my shoulder gently.

 

“I am sorry to hear about your clan.”

 

“It happened a while ago, but thank you. Only one other of my clan made it and that’s because she was sent to the Temple of Sacred Ashes and now she’s the Inquisitor, trying to seal the breach that appeared over Thedas.”

 

“Valora right? You mentioned her the night we all met.”

 

“Yes, that’s her. I’m… surprised you remember that, actually.” I looked up, startled at his words. I was so used to people not really listening to anything I had to say, that when he brought up Valora by name, I was surprised.

 

“Of course I do. Why do you look so surprised?” Kili asked with a puzzled look on his handsome face.

 

“I am so used to people ignoring anything I have to say, that when someone listens and I mean actually listens and gives a damn, it’s surprising. My clan listened and that’s it. So… I-I mean, it’s just, well, nice to have someone else listen for a change.” I stumbled over my words, turning pink with embarrassment and I tucked my hair behind my ears, trying to stay distracted so I wouldn’t let on to just how embarrassed I was.


	7. Chapter 7

“Anyone want to play a hand of Wicked Grace?” I asked with a bored sigh. Watching ponies was getting tedious and boring and I really wanted to just be in a tavern with friends, playing some Wicked Grace and drinking. Maybe making plans with Iron Bull to launch me into battle much like we did when we were fighting giants in the Emerald Graves.

 

 

“What’s Wicked Grace?” Kili asked, perking up at the mention of a game.

 

“You’ve never played Wicked Grace? Oh, you’re in for a lot of fun.” I sat up and dragged a flat stump that was the perfect size for us to play and pulled my cards out of my pack, shuffled and dealt the out all while explaining how to play.

 

 

“I’m starting the pot with oh… five silver.” I said and tossed some silver in the middle. Once Fili and Kili had placed their bets, we began and after a few hands, Fili and I were ready to quit.

 

“I thought you’ve never played Wicked Grace before!” I scowled at Kili as he once again collected the pot from the middle of the stump.

 

“I haven’t! It’s just luck I suppose.”

 

“Or something akin to cheating!” Fili laughed, giving his brother a teasing look. Kili protested his innocence and I got up to check on the ponies. So far, they looked okay and then I did a double take.

 

_Wait a moment, we’re two short._

 

“Guys? We have a slight problem.” I called back over my shoulder and Kili and Fili came walking up, the game and money long forgotten now. We stood there, looking at the ponies, when Bilbo came walking up, trying to balance three bowls of soup. I took one from his distractedly and held it tightly, never looking away from the ponies that were left.

 

“What’s the matter?” Bilbo asked, looking between the three of us.

 

“We’re supposed to be looking out for the ponies.” Kili replied, ignoring the soup Bilbo was trying to hand to him.

 

“Only we’ve encountered a slight problem,” Fili added in, not taking the soup either.

 

“We had sixteen.” I piped up before eating a spoonful of soup.

 

“Now there’s fourteen.” Fili finished.

 

“Daisy and Bungo are missing.” Kili and I said, looking at each other with mirrored worried looks.

 

“Well that’s not good. That is not good at all. Shouldn’t we tell Thorin?” Bilbo asked with a frown and I bit my lip, wondering if he was right.

 

“Uhh, no. Let’s not worry him. As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it.” Fili said distractedly as we walked around, looking for clues.

 

“Well, uh… look, some-something big uprooted these trees.” Bilbo pointed out some trees that had recently been knocked down. I knelt down to examine the trees, looking for anything that could help us identify what we were dealing with.

 

“Hey! There’s a light. Over here! Stay down.” Fili’s exclamation caught my attention and we followed after him, staying low and out of sight and hid behind a log when we realized it was a fire that we spotted and I winced at the harsh laughter that came from the direction of the fire.

 

“What is it?” Bilbo whispered, peering over our shoulders.

 

“Trolls.” Kili said and I hopped over the log and went running down there, sliding across the ground and pressed my back against a tree, waiting on the others to get here and when they did, a mountain troll walked past with two more ponies under his arms. I watched them flail and scream and I was angry that they were in trouble.

 

“He’s got Myrtle and Minty! I think they’re going to eat them, we have to do something.” Bilbo hissed from the tree he was hiding behind.

 

“Yes; you should. Mountain trolls are slow and stupid and you’re so small.”

 

“N-n-no-“

 

“They’ll never see you.”

 

“No, no, no…”

 

“What if I go with you?”

 

Bilbo, Kili and Fili looked at me when I interrupted their argument, astonishment on their faces as they absorbed what I just said.

 

“What, no! You’re not going anywhere.” Fili was frowning at me and Kili agreed with him, but I held up a hand to silence anymore protests.

 

“Look, I’m not letting Bilbo go alone and you two would be spotted right away if you went with him, so why shouldn’t I go? We’ll be in and out quick enough and shouldn’t have a problem.” I said firmly then turned on my heel and crept towards their camp, staying low to the ground and in the shadows. Bilbo hurried after me and we made it over to the ponies without being spotted. I whispered to them in elvish, just like earlier when I was grooming them, reached into my boot and pulled out a wickedly sharp dagger, sawing the rope that was holding the pen they were in shut. The ponies bolted back towards camp and I grabbed Bilbo, tossing him into the shadows when the trolls got up and turned to see what was going on.

 

“Shit.” I muttered, dodging grabby hands and I jumped onto one trolls hand and ran up his arm, onto his shoulder, clambered up to his noggin and took a flying leap off onto another’s back when one of the others slammed their fist into the skull of the first troll I’d landed on. I clung on for dear life as the troll I was currently on danced about, trying to reach me and jumped off when the troll who hit his brother in the head swung and hit this brother in the back and I rolled as soon as I hit the ground and started running when a hand snagged me around the waist and hauled me up.

 

“Would you look here? An elf! A really tiny elf!” One of them laughed nastily and I glared up at him.

 

“I know I’m short, alright? Don’t rub it in, huh?!” I shouted angrily but it made them laugh harder.

 

“Are there anymore of you hiding around here?”

 

“No, it’s just me all by my lonesome. Well, I mean I have my ponies, which by the way, if I check them and they’re hurt, I’ll just make your deaths even more painful.” I spat furiously.

 

“She’s lying!”

 

“Am not!”

 

“Are too! Hold her feet over the fire. Make her squeal.”

 

“Drop her!” Kili ran out of the bushes, his sword brandished and he cut one of the trolls’ legs, making him drop to the ground, howling with pain.

 

“You what!”

 

“Okay, you got me, I was definitely lying.” I said and stabbed my dagger into the fleshy part of the trolls hand by the thumb and pointer finger. He yelled in pain and I yanked my dagger out as he dropped me to the ground. I rolled to avoid impaling myself on accident and hopped to my feet, grinning wildly as the rest of the Company came charging into the clearing, led by Thorin of course, and they were yelling loudly and brandishing their weapons. Everyone was fighting; hacking, slashing and generally trying to cut the trolls down and I saw one of them was going for Bilbo so I weaved in and out of everyone and shoved Bilbo out of the way and found myself caught up in the troll’s tight grip again.

 

“Well shit. This is rather unfortunate.” I sighed as my arms and legs were held onto tightly and everyone stopped fighting quickly.

 

“Akasha!” Kili yelled, worried for my safety which was sweet but not needed.

 

“No!” Thorin looked both concerned and pissed off and I was impressed he had more than one emotion.

 

“Lay down your arms, or we’ll rip hers off.”

 

“No, no, no, do _not_ do that! Ten out of ten elves recommend _not_ taking this course of action! In fact, I _highly_ discourage that response! Don’t do it. Just… _no_!” I shouted, quickly trying to devise a way out of this that didn’t require them to drop their weapons and leave me in one piece.


	8. Chapter 8

“I said to _not_ drop your weapons!”

 

I was stuffed in a sack along with some of the others and tossed off to the side in a heap while Dwalin and a few others had been tied to a spit and were being roasted over a fire.

 

“Don’t bother cooking them. Let’s just sit on them and squash them into jelly.”

 

“They should be sautéed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage.”

 

“Is this really necessary?” Dori yelled from the spit.

 

“Ooh that does sound nice.”

 

“Untie us, you monsters!” Oin shouted angrily.

 

“Take on someone your own size!” Gloin added in.

 

I was focused on trying to wriggle around in my sack enough to retrieve the other dagger I kept hidden in my other boot so I could try and cut myself free, but it was a lot harder than I expected it to be.

 

“What are you doing?” Kili hissed so the trolls wouldn’t hear us talking.

 

“Trying to get at my spare dagger; if I can get it, I can cut myself free and free everyone else too.”

 

“Never mind the seasoning; we ain’t got all night! Dawn ain’t far away, so let’s get a move on. I don’t fancy being turned to stone.”

 

I paused in my struggling at this trolls words and I looked at Bilbo, raising an eyebrow, both of us looking like we might have been thinking the same thing.

 

“Wait! You’re making a terrible mistake.” Bilbo yelled from where he was tossed, struggling to sit up.

 

“You can’t reason with them, they’re half-wits!” Dori informed Bilbo, but Bilbo ignored him of course.

 

“Half-wits? What does that make us?” Bofur asked with a snort. Bilbo managed to stand up and he faced the trolls so he could speak to them more easily.

 

“Uh, I meant with the, uh, with, uh with the seasoning.”

 

“What about the seasoning?”

 

_You better know what you’re doing Bilbo. If I get cooked or something, I’ll come back as a ghost and haunt your ass._

 

 

“Well, have you smelt them? You’re going to need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up.” Bilbo explained while the other dwarves in the sacks kicked him and everyone but me called him a traitor.

 

“What do you know about cooking dwarf?” The troll that was turning the spit asked, glaring at the little hobbit.

 

 

“Shut up, and let the, uh, flurgaburburrahobbit talk.”

 

This went on for some time, going back and forth, the dwarves getting worked up and even angrier at this talk of how to cook us up. Suddenly, one troll picked up Bombur and dangled him upside down, about to eat him raw.

 

“Not – not that one, he – he’s infected!” Bilbo scrambled, trying to find an excuse and quick.

 

“You what?”

 

“Yeah, he’s got worms in his… tubes.”

 

The troll dropped Bombur and I yelped as he crash landed onto me and Kili and rolled off of us. I was certainly going to feel that later on, on top of all the other bruises and cuts I’d gotten.

 

“In – in fact they all have, they’re in-infested with parasites. It’s a terrible business; I wouldn’t risk it, I really wouldn’t.”

 

“Aye, I’ve got loads of parasites. Little elveny ones that’ll make you explode!” I threw out there, but no one else seemed to pick up on what was going on.

 

“Parasites, did he say parasites?”

 

“We don’t have parasites! You have parasites!” Kili yelled and I wanted to giggle so badly but I had to keep from it.

 

“What are you talking about, laddie?”

 

Thorin, thankfully, got the plan and kicked the dwarves that were around us and immediately, it became clear Bilbo had a plan all along. Now they were shouting about how they had huge parasites.”

 

“I’ve got parasites as big as my arm!”

 

“Mine are the biggest parasites, I’ve got huge parasites.”

 

At Kili’s words, I did start to giggle and he kicked me, fighting a smile as I sat there, trying so hard not laugh. I closed my eyes and kept my mouth pinched shut, but my shoulders were shaking and I had tears in my eyes from fighting back the laugh that wanted to bubble up out of me.

 

“What would you have us do, then, let ‘em all go?”

 

“Well…” Bilbo shrugged his shoulders and looked up at them hopefully.

 

“You think I don’t know what you’re up to? This little ferret is taking us for fools!”

 

“Ferret?” Bilbo sounded very offended by the choice of words thrown at him.

 

“Fools?” One of the trolls added, looking confused; Dori was certainly right about them being half-wits. And then Gandalf appeared on a rock behind the trolls and I was very glad to see him.

 

“The dawn will take you all!” He shouted at the trolls and they looked at him, perplexed by his sudden appearance.

 

“Who’s that?”

 

“No idea.”

 

“Can we eat ‘im too?”

 

Gandalf struck the rock with his staff, cracking it in half and sun came pouring into the clearing, hitting the trolls’ skin and they began to scream and wail as they were turned to stone. Everyone cheered for Gandalf and I managed to finally get a hold of my dagger and cut myself free of the sack and got everyone else free as well.


	9. Chapter 9

“Damned trolls.” I muttered and spat on one of the statues they’d become and scooped up my favorite dagger, cleaned it off and put it back in its sheath.

 

“Where did you go to, if I may ask?”

 

I paused and listened to Thorin speaking to Gandalf about where he’d gone and I bristled when he blamed me for everyone getting caught.

 

“Hey, hey, hey, hold on, wait just a damn minute! I saved your ponies from being eaten! And you know what? You could have turned tail and run when they caught me. You chose to lay your arms down! You have your burglar; I’m just an extra sword to help out just in case, so really, I’m expendable.” I snapped, walking up and getting in Thorin’s face, trying to shake Kili off when he grabbed my hand and pulled me back. Thorin looked angry but he didn’t say anything, so I turned on my heel and stomped off to check up on the ponies to make sure they were alright.

 

 

“Akasha, hold on a moment, wait.”

 

I stopped and waited for Kili to catch up and he took my hand in his, lacing his fingers through mine and he walked with me to check on the ponies.

 

“Don’t listen to my uncle. It isn’t your fault, you did what you could.” He murmured softly and I sighed, running a hand through my hair and shook my head a little.

 

“If I get blamed for something again, I’ll punch him. I’m just telling you now so you aren’t shocked if it happens.” I muttered crossly and got to work checking over the ponies that had run when I freed them. They looked okay, so I let them get back to grazing and I straightened up, stretching out and popping my back and neck, feeling a little better after that and I watched the others go into a cave that trolls had used to hide during the day. I watched and the ponies began snorting wildly, rearing up and their eyes rolled in panic and I leaped back up to my feet and dashed about trying to calm them down, but they bolted, terrified out of their wits and I nearly had my arm yanked out of socket when Minty bolted.

 

“Shit! Kili, give me a hand!” I shouted and darted away after the ponies, calling for them to stop and cursed when they got away.

 

“Fuck!” I growled and Stripe came racing up, her fur slick with sweat and I leaped onto her back, wondering just what was going on.

 

“Something’s coming!” I heard Thorin yell and I looked at Kili, held out my hand and pulled him back up onto Stripe, racing back the way we came and followed after Thorin and the others into the woods.

 

“Thieves! Fire! Murder!” A man dressed all in brown and was being pulled on a sled by rabbits came flying into the clearing where we were, stopping in front of Gandalf.

 

“Radagast! Radagast the Brown. Ah. What on earth are you doing here?” Gandalf asked, puzzled by his friends sudden appearance.

 

“I was looking for you, Gandalf. Something’s wrong. Something’s terribly wrong.”


End file.
